Posts Tagged ‘story’

I wrote this piece for my Speech and Stage Arts subject (I crammed it and finished two minutes before I was called up front, but yeah), dedicated to all my younger PNU sibs out there who struggle with all that life–and college–throws at them. This is for you. Remember, we can hear you. ❤

“Love, Light, Hope”

When I entered this university about four years ago, I did so with much hope, and determination. I entered college with the hope of a new start, of a clear record to work with. And there was determination—I was determined to make things right, to not make the same mistakes my high school self did, to make things work this time. I was so sure that I won’t mess up my college days the way I messed up my high school. Turns out I did mess it up. Turns out I failed.

Maybe, just maybe, you are like me. Maybe, you too were so eager to leave behind your traumatic years of being bullied and of failing, and trying harder only to fail again. Maybe you were all too willing to close that one dark chapter in your book and to proceed to a hopefully lighter one—only to find out that the first pages are just as dark as the ones you tried to forget.

Maybe you find it hard looking for the place where you belong, like a puzzle piece whose edges were too rough to fit anywhere, like a piano key that’s a little too low or high for the octave. Maybe you’re like me; trying everything you could to juggle everything that life throws at you—from term papers to terror professors to friendships lost and misunderstood—yet somehow all your efforts are still not enough. If you are, I just wanted to tell you: you will get through the dark clouds of today because you will find love, light, and hope.

I was a sophomore—tired of myself and of my faults—when I have found love, or rather, when love has found me. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t get a boyfriend—I still don’t have one. But when I saw love, I saw it in the form of a friend. A friend who lovingly puts up with my heavy silence to listen to the story that comes after. A friend who loves me like a peculiar treasure, and understands me despite my flaws. Love has found me at the right moment. Let love find you too. Remember, I’m willing to listen to you.

I was a sophomore—down and doubting—when I have found light, or rather, when light has found me. It found me not when I went out to meet the morning sunshine in the streets. Rather, light found me in the dark corner of my room looking like a candle—light not too bright, just enough to make me see that someone still cares for me. Someone does care, struggling one. Someone longs to reach out for you. You’re not alone—that’s what the light has told me then. Let me tell you the same. You are not alone. And if the candle whispers aren’t enough to convince you, let’s take this a notch higher—let’s have a coffee session together.

I was a sophomore—depressed and totally giving up—when I have found hope, or rather, when hope has found me. And this is nothing I could ever claim to have accomplished. I was totally fed up with my flaws and incompetence—from reports gone wrong to friendships severed and lost. I decided it would just be a matter of time before I vanish in this story book. But the Writer of my novel thinks otherwise. He let me find hope in my darkest moments—in the form of a loving friend. Sister. In the form of someone who loves and understands. And if you haven’t found it yet, let me be that ray of hope to you. Let me be God’s extending hand to show you that your story is far from being over. That your story is just about to take leaps of plot twists that would turn your dark, stormy clouds of trials and failures to a peaceful rainbow of happiness.

Love, light, and hope have found me. Just at the right time. Just at the exact moment. Let them do the same to you. I am here. And so are the others who care. We can hear you.

Silver Lining (6.12.15)

Posted: June 13, 2015 in Prose
Tags: , ,

For her, it was a night to remember. A silver lining in the midst of tempestuous gales and dark storms. For him, it was a night he was willing to relive, over and over. A moment he was ready to turn into a time loop, had he been given the power.

She could still remember how she slipped into that red velvet as if it was a black mourning robe. She remembered the silver stilettos making every step prick with pain just as every breath she took stabbed her heart. Before it even all began, she knew. It was the night when the world would slap her into reality: she was alone, from the time she entered the world-stage up until the time she would waste away from the life-play. It was a night to bear patiently, and then be buried deep into nothingness with all the other forgotten memories.

He was in all black, yet it could have been pastel by the way his eyes shined. As he fixed his tie, he smiled ever so contentedly. This would be a night to spend with the loveliest woman; a night to cherish, to embed in one’s memory forever. Or so he told himself. As a fleeting thought came to mind, his eyes dimmed ever so slightly, his smile faded quite subtly. Nobody noticed, not even him.

She entered the battlegrounds with her head held high, but with her heart breaking at every smile. Hi, people greeted. You look so gorgeous, they complemented. It didn’t matter. None of them meant what they said. She settled to be the night’s wallflower. She walked to the far end corner and there she intended to stay with a glass of wine to keep her company. From there she saw him, happily talking to his girl. His girl was beautiful, probably more so for him. She smiled sadly and looked away from the scene.

He just entered Paradise with his angel, who was wearing an elegant blue. He looked at her, and did not wonder why he was held captive. She was his angel, the one who saved him from himself. The only person in the world that reigns in his heart. Or so he kept telling himself. She talked on, he nodded and smiled, but kept scanning the room—slowly, carefully. Then at the corner of his eye he saw her. Alone. With a glass of wine in her hand. Smiling to everyone who passed by, but sadly so. Are you okay, his angel asked. Yes, of course, I am, he smiled and kissed her, but he felt hollow. He was with the love of his life, and yet… Why was he yearning to be at the far end corner?

Though she turned away, the image still burned inside. She saw him, with the woman he loved; they were perfectly happy. She was just a blurred figure in their everlasting picture. A voice called out to her from that direction. She didn’t turn. She couldn’t—her heart might shatter into a thousand pieces if she would have to look a second time. But the voice called out again. She sighed and dared a glance.

He couldn’t rationalize, not this time. He swam through the people and reached out to her, leaving his angel, approaching his probable doom. But he didn’t care. He couldn’t just watch the plaintiveness of this girl’s eyes. And he could no longer silence the beating of his own heart. Just as she turned, he took her hand, soft and slightly trembling.

Dance with me, she heard him say. She flushed pink and thought she dreamed of it, but seconds after he still stood there. Her head was still reeling—just from wine, probably, but why take effect right after he came? She didn’t care anymore. This time, her logic lost. Be it or not a fancy, it was a moment worth living. She let him guide her, as a moth is led to the lovely fire.

He glided with her through the golden dance floor. His heart was soaring, dancing with such joy. He smiled at her. What are you doing, keeping your beauty and elegance all to yourself, he asked her. She laughed a little. It was music to his ears. I don’t think anybody wanted it, she had said. But I do, he uttered before he could stop himself. She smiled at him, confusion evident in her eyes.

The harm for her was done. She knew he didn’t mean any of it; that he was just making her feel a little better by giving left-over compliments. She knew her place. She was but a dog, begging for scraps under the table. Yet he being the master gave a little too generously, and suddenly she was yearning for so much more.

But the music had stopped. Neither of them wanted it to, but it did. It ended. Slowly she smiled and gently pulled away. He was reluctant, but he let her go. With glistening eyes, she whispered, Thank you. Then she smiled once more, genuinely this time. I think you should now go back to her, she told him and added, you are such a great friend. She just wished they could be so much more.

He kissed her hand ever so lightly. He told her, don’t thank me. You gave me the best friendship I’ve ever had. But as he walked away, his heart was crying out, if only we could be so much more.

For her, it was a night to remember, despite all the pain. It all evened out. It was her silver lining. Her calm amidst the fatal storm. For him, it was the night of real happiness. He made it his own time loop. But the silver lining soon faded, the storm broke out, and the moment was lost forever.