Posts Tagged ‘Love’

I wrote this piece for my Speech and Stage Arts subject (I crammed it and finished two minutes before I was called up front, but yeah), dedicated to all my younger PNU sibs out there who struggle with all that life–and college–throws at them. This is for you. Remember, we can hear you. ❤

“Love, Light, Hope”

When I entered this university about four years ago, I did so with much hope, and determination. I entered college with the hope of a new start, of a clear record to work with. And there was determination—I was determined to make things right, to not make the same mistakes my high school self did, to make things work this time. I was so sure that I won’t mess up my college days the way I messed up my high school. Turns out I did mess it up. Turns out I failed.

Maybe, just maybe, you are like me. Maybe, you too were so eager to leave behind your traumatic years of being bullied and of failing, and trying harder only to fail again. Maybe you were all too willing to close that one dark chapter in your book and to proceed to a hopefully lighter one—only to find out that the first pages are just as dark as the ones you tried to forget.

Maybe you find it hard looking for the place where you belong, like a puzzle piece whose edges were too rough to fit anywhere, like a piano key that’s a little too low or high for the octave. Maybe you’re like me; trying everything you could to juggle everything that life throws at you—from term papers to terror professors to friendships lost and misunderstood—yet somehow all your efforts are still not enough. If you are, I just wanted to tell you: you will get through the dark clouds of today because you will find love, light, and hope.

I was a sophomore—tired of myself and of my faults—when I have found love, or rather, when love has found me. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t get a boyfriend—I still don’t have one. But when I saw love, I saw it in the form of a friend. A friend who lovingly puts up with my heavy silence to listen to the story that comes after. A friend who loves me like a peculiar treasure, and understands me despite my flaws. Love has found me at the right moment. Let love find you too. Remember, I’m willing to listen to you.

I was a sophomore—down and doubting—when I have found light, or rather, when light has found me. It found me not when I went out to meet the morning sunshine in the streets. Rather, light found me in the dark corner of my room looking like a candle—light not too bright, just enough to make me see that someone still cares for me. Someone does care, struggling one. Someone longs to reach out for you. You’re not alone—that’s what the light has told me then. Let me tell you the same. You are not alone. And if the candle whispers aren’t enough to convince you, let’s take this a notch higher—let’s have a coffee session together.

I was a sophomore—depressed and totally giving up—when I have found hope, or rather, when hope has found me. And this is nothing I could ever claim to have accomplished. I was totally fed up with my flaws and incompetence—from reports gone wrong to friendships severed and lost. I decided it would just be a matter of time before I vanish in this story book. But the Writer of my novel thinks otherwise. He let me find hope in my darkest moments—in the form of a loving friend. Sister. In the form of someone who loves and understands. And if you haven’t found it yet, let me be that ray of hope to you. Let me be God’s extending hand to show you that your story is far from being over. That your story is just about to take leaps of plot twists that would turn your dark, stormy clouds of trials and failures to a peaceful rainbow of happiness.

Love, light, and hope have found me. Just at the right time. Just at the exact moment. Let them do the same to you. I am here. And so are the others who care. We can hear you.

Swing

Posted: October 9, 2016 in Poems
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The next time you talk to me,
please don’t be a swing,
indecisively moving back and forth
between yes and no,
between thoughts of love and “maybe not,”
between “I like you that much” and “not quite.”

But please, when you decide to notice me,
either slide down my arms,
falling hard and sure,
or don’t slide down at all.

Either tell me plain and clear
that you love me, completely and without fear,
or tell me outright and directly so
that your decision has to be a no.

Because the more your heart-pendulum swings,
the more mine aches.
The more your heart-switch turns on and off,
the more irreparably mine breaks.

So once you tell me again your stories,
go down your swing.
Stop playing.
And for once tell me-
if I should stop waiting.

I’ll Listen

Posted: June 24, 2016 in Poems
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When the clouds of your heart are so dark and heavy,
And the raindrops of your eyes threaten to fall;
When you’re in pain, or angry, or tired,
Or when you think you’ve failed even after you’ve tried—
I’m here. Talk to me. Tell me stories. I’ll listen.

When you’ve faced just too many crossroads,
And you’re not sure you’re doing things right,
Or when you just doubt the worth of it all;
When even your mind is blank and tired of thinking—
I’m here. Tell me stories. I promise I’ll listen.

And when you are hurting, so much,
When you feel that your heart is shattering to a thousand pieces,
When you think life is an ocean of bitter tears
Raging down upon you, drowning you;
When you feel like life sucks out all oxygen out of your entire being;

When you feel like nothing in this world makes sense anymore,
Because dreams don’t transpire to reality
And hopes only get shattered every time;
When you doubt if anything’s even worth pursuing after all the pain—
Pour on me your frustration, tell me your disappointments. I’ll listen.

And I may not be the best machine fixer of broken hearts,
I may not be the solution to your gravest of problems,
Nor the fighter that would chase your demons away—
Not even the angel that would make everything clear as day—
But I promise to be that most soothing balm the I best can.

And because I cannot shield you from all the stones, arrows, daggers
That come along your way to hurt you,
Please let me be the armor that absorbs most of those harms instead.
The least I can do is take your burden–so let me.
Tell me your stories. I promise I’ll listen.

Because whenever I see you cry your heart out in the corner,
Whenever I see you struggle with words to express your pain,
Whenever I see you fake out a smile to look okay,
Whenever I hear you stammer with emotions you cannot contain—
My own heart of glass cracks and breaks.

It pains me to see you carrying those shards of glass all to yourself.
So please let me care. Please let me in.
Please let me listen.
And in my own little way,
Let me carry your burdens for you.

This, my dear, is how much I love you.
This is how much I care.
It may not be that significant—I hardly ever was.
But like the widow with two copper coins,
All that I can I will offer—never doubt there.

flickr.jpg

Let not my lips utter a word
that my heart has not sent.
Let not a praise from me be heard
if, without sincerity, out it went.
And no, let not my tongue sing grace,
nor my mouth utter even one prayer,
if these words would be said in haste–
if my heart would not truly care.
But cleans my whole heart to purity;
wash away all my sinful guilt,
that I may worship you sincerely.
Pray hear me, lest without Your grace I wilt.

 

I Have Found Love

Posted: June 22, 2015 in Poems
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I’ve once roamed in many wastelands
and wandered in many wildernesses
in search for all clues and answers
to the question most unsettling.

I traveled far and wide for it,
inquiring from every kingdom.
‘Midst all the conflicting concepts,
which, I ask, is true about love?

Some say one, some say another.
It’s all heartache, says the pessimist;
we need it not, says the feminist,
but for romantics it’s all bliss.

Many would say it’s plain emotion,
and scientists claim it’s brain reaction.
Yet for Catholics it may be charity,
and for Hindus it may be duty.

But only when I went to the holy place
did I discern its real meaning.
Only when I heard God’s blessed word
did I find out–love’s so much deeper.

It isn’t that topsy-turvy romance
the young people usually describe.
It isn’t the skipping of heartbeat,
nor the fluttering of the stomach.

But it’s the Father sending salvation
to those who once rebelled against Him.
It’s the Son descending on humble earth
to wash His people’s feet.

Love–it’s Christ gathering lost souls to Him,
teaching them ever patiently the way;
knowing fully all their darkest thoughts
yet still bearing their flaws perfectly.

I have searched far and wide for the truth
and now have been confronted by it.
But as I try to grasp it fully, I knew:
it is too high. I cannot attain it.

It transcends all of human wisdom,
it evades my very knowledge.
It’s something I’d never even deserve,
and yet, somehow, I’ve completely owned it.

Prince Arthur

Posted: January 18, 2015 in Poems
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Featured image

Prince Arthur.

Born from magic was his flesh and bone;
death was needed to create his soul.
He was the heir to Camelot’s throne,
and ’twas he that made his father whole.

Prince Arthur.

He grew in palace so lovely, so fair,
yet he was a knight so valiant and strong.
To contend with him, none ever dared.
His brave heart stood out among the throng.

Prince Arthur.

He was the prince bound to his duties,
the ruler who cared for those he ruled.
And though he had his faults and frailties,
for his men pain and death he’d endure.

Prince Arthur.

Behind that stature so firm and proud,
hid a kind, gentle, and loving heart
who’d protect his loved one, as he vowed.
But he, sadly, was the lover I never had.

“Stay Forever” (11.21.14)

Posted: November 23, 2014 in Poems
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Stay Forever.jpg

The soft hues of blue
dominate the view
that captivated my soul.
I could stay here forever.

As the waves rolled by softly,
And as I gaze out to the sea,
I was soothed and calmed.
I could stay here forever.

As I walked through the shoreline,
My bare feet touched the sand so fine;
And, that moment, time seems to stop.
I’d love to stay here forever.

And then a song began to play,
So sweet as honey, so clear as day.
It speaks of love so strong and true
By a soul full of fervor.

The song is pleasant to my ears,
But not to my heart, I fear.
For the words, sweet though they be,
Remind me of nothing sweet.

Instead it painted so clear in the air
A picture too painful to bear:
the happy ending that should’ve been ours,
Gone, vanished like the hastening fleet.

All the lovely what-ifs of you and me
Were sung ever so sadly.
The plaintive thought haunts me on:
How could I endure this forever?

The soft hues of ocean so blue
Faded out as tears blurred my view.
The fine, sad song plays infinitely.
I can’t stay here forever.