We’re in the valley of tears.
We’re walking through death’s shadow.
We live a life full of threats and fears.
We’re passing through a dangerous meadow.
 
We’re in this dark vale of tears,
Where there’s toil, hardship, and pain,
Where at times light does not all appear,
Where some days bring none but heavy rain.
 
We’re in the dark, but not for long.
We tremble at night, but dawn is coming.
Light shall come save all of God’s throng
And out of this vale we’ll come victoriously smiling.
 
This is the thought that will bring us through
Jesus our Lord is at the highest station.
This is our life’s most comforting truth–
Christ rules, forever seated on the throne.
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Clueless Judgment

Posted: December 19, 2016 in Poems
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They have no idea…
Of how dark my road has been,
Of how dark it still is,
How dark I think it will be.
 
They have no idea…
Of how deserted the road has been for me,
Of how I had to feign strength,
because I had to face the night alone.
 
They have no idea…
Of the sighs, of the hopeless prayers at night.
They know nothing of my reasons for silence,
Nor the excuses for my excessive laughter.
 
They have no idea…
Of how the darkness almost swallowed me up,
Of how I had to steel-proof my heart,
Because I was left to fight alone.

Imperfect

Posted: December 6, 2016 in Poems
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Running out of patience.
Running out of love.
Mind falls short of understanding,
Heart’s getting too onion-skinned.
 
Hands and feet lacking the diligence
To render selfless service from above.
Thoughts of care turn to accusations
Instead of loving considerations.
 
One trigger piles after another
and the day doesn’t get any better.
Every word and thought reveal my defects,
Every action proclaims I’m imperfect.
 
Running out of patience.
Running out of love.
And as my soul seems to go astray,
Tears of self-contempt run hurriedly away.

Peter’s Cross

Posted: December 4, 2016 in Poems
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I feel like a Peter and I see a John.
I see him reclining at Jesus’ bosom,
and I want to ask, “Lord, what about this man?”
What of him? Is he to suffer as I am?
 
I feel like a Peter as I see my fate;
I know I’d be much willing to suffer
and through toil and hardship glorify His name.
But as I see my life’s John, I start to wonder:
 
 How much more pain will I have to endure,
how much longer will I, for His name, shed tears?
How many more triumphs will my John treasure
while I face all my deepest pain and fears?
 
I feel like a Peter as I fall apart
and, as I see the dark path before me,
I can’t help but secretly wish in my heart
that God wrote my fate quite differently.
 
 I see that I have my burden to bear–
for the glory of Christ, for the crown of life.
Yet even as I trudge forward willingly,
my heart follows quite questioningly.

“At Sunrise”

Posted: December 4, 2016 in Poems
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Away from laughter, away from the crowd,
In a shelter that remains to be seen —
Without a single noise, without a sound,
My soul is settled; I have peace within.

Amidst the stillness of early morning
With nothing but the birds’ singing to hear,
I opened His word, sincerely hoping
To know more of God and to know Him near.

With a fluttering heart, His word I read:
“The one whom the Lord loves, He disciplines.”
Thus, though with tear-stained face, my soul is fed.
With this I’m settled. I have peace within.

Swing

Posted: October 9, 2016 in Poems
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The next time you talk to me,
please don’t be a swing,
indecisively moving back and forth
between yes and no,
between thoughts of love and “maybe not,”
between “I like you that much” and “not quite.”

But please, when you decide to notice me,
either slide down my arms,
falling hard and sure,
or don’t slide down at all.

Either tell me plain and clear
that you love me, completely and without fear,
or tell me outright and directly so
that your decision has to be a no.

Because the more your heart-pendulum swings,
the more mine aches.
The more your heart-switch turns on and off,
the more irreparably mine breaks.

So once you tell me again your stories,
go down your swing.
Stop playing.
And for once tell me-
if I should stop waiting.

Great Is Your Faith

Posted: July 24, 2016 in Journals

​She said, “Yes, Lord, yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters’ table.” (Matthew 15:27)
To be told, “O woman, great is your faith!” by the Author and Finisher of faith–that is an experience I am willing to strive hard for, to spend my whole life working on. Six words. One statement. But with such great powerful way of defining my life.
May my perspective be as strong as this woman’s. May my faith be as firm. May I ever cling to You, Lord, though circumstances may tell me otherwise. Let me always, always see that promise, that rainbow, throughout the storms and rains. Let my anchor hold firmly despite every veil of darkness.
That at the end of the day, I would hear you say, “O woman, great is your faith.”