Peter’s Cross

Posted: December 4, 2016 in Poems
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I feel like a Peter and I see a John.
I see him reclining at Jesus’ bosom,
and I want to ask, “Lord, what about this man?”
What of him? Is he to suffer as I am?
 
I feel like a Peter as I see my fate;
I know I’d be much willing to suffer
and through toil and hardship glorify His name.
But as I see my life’s John, I start to wonder:
 
 How much more pain will I have to endure,
how much longer will I, for His name, shed tears?
How many more triumphs will my John treasure
while I face all my deepest pain and fears?
 
I feel like a Peter as I fall apart
and, as I see the dark path before me,
I can’t help but secretly wish in my heart
that God wrote my fate quite differently.
 
 I see that I have my burden to bear–
for the glory of Christ, for the crown of life.
Yet even as I trudge forward willingly,
my heart follows quite questioningly.

“At Sunrise”

Posted: December 4, 2016 in Poems
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Away from laughter, away from the crowd,
In a shelter that remains to be seen —
Without a single noise, without a sound,
My soul is settled; I have peace within.

Amidst the stillness of early morning
With nothing but the birds’ singing to hear,
I opened His word, sincerely hoping
To know more of God and to know Him near.

With a fluttering heart, His word I read:
“The one whom the Lord loves, He disciplines.”
Thus, though with tear-stained face, my soul is fed.
With this I’m settled. I have peace within.

Swing

Posted: October 9, 2016 in Poems
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The next time you talk to me,
please don’t be a swing,
indecisively moving back and forth
between yes and no,
between thoughts of love and “maybe not,”
between “I like you that much” and “not quite.”

But please, when you decide to notice me,
either slide down my arms,
falling hard and sure,
or don’t slide down at all.

Either tell me plain and clear
that you love me, completely and without fear,
or tell me outright and directly so
that your decision has to be a no.

Because the more your heart-pendulum swings,
the more mine aches.
The more your heart-switch turns on and off,
the more irreparably mine breaks.

So once you tell me again your stories,
go down your swing.
Stop playing.
And for once tell me-
if I should stop waiting.

Great Is Your Faith

Posted: July 24, 2016 in Journals

​She said, “Yes, Lord, yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters’ table.” (Matthew 15:27)
To be told, “O woman, great is your faith!” by the Author and Finisher of faith–that is an experience I am willing to strive hard for, to spend my whole life working on. Six words. One statement. But with such great powerful way of defining my life.
May my perspective be as strong as this woman’s. May my faith be as firm. May I ever cling to You, Lord, though circumstances may tell me otherwise. Let me always, always see that promise, that rainbow, throughout the storms and rains. Let my anchor hold firmly despite every veil of darkness.
That at the end of the day, I would hear you say, “O woman, great is your faith.”

Be Anxious For Nothing

Posted: July 15, 2016 in Journals

​”Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” (Matthew 6:34)
I have a lot of cares, a lot of worries. I am being hard pressed by the cares of this temporal world. They are necessary, yes. But not to the point that it would consume me.
Be anxious for nothing. I give you all my name worries, Lord. I give you all my cares. My deadlines, my papers to check, my requirements. My dealings with other people. You know my struggles. You know my weaknesses. I lay down before you all the cares of my heart. Teach my heart to trust you fully.

The Kingdom is at Hand

Posted: July 9, 2016 in Journals

​From that time Jesus began to preach, saying, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.” (Matthew 4:17)

Heaven’s within man’s reach, for the first time in all of history. A first, a breakthrough, in man’s story. God before was that eternal, Almighty God you have to approach through rituals and sacrifices and curtain boundaries with a continuous plea for mercy, for Him to spare you from punishment.

But now the curtain was torn, the boundary crossed for good by Christ, our Mediator. And now the once unapproachable, Holy God became the gracious, saving, still-Holy God. He showered to the fullest His salvation upon us, people who least deserve it. His just demands being met by His own Son on our behalf. On /my/ behalf. The immortal, invisible God stays immortal and invisible, but now He has also become a Friend, a Savior, a loving Father. All you need to do now, to approach this gracious God, is to repent. The kingdom is at hand. Forsake your sins, and live in viee of eternity.

Let me live my entire life, its every aspect, in view of this, Lord. Hear me.

His Name Will Be Great

Posted: July 5, 2016 in Journals

​For from the rising of the sun to its setting my name will be great among the nations, and in every place incense will be offered to my name, and a pure offering. For my name will be great among the nations, says the LORD of hosts. (Malachi 1:11)
His name will be great. His name will be glorified. He shall be recognized, feared, and bowed down to. Peoples shall see Him and proclaim that He is God. And they will offer sincere offerings and pure praises. The Lord is His name, and He shall be known among His people.
How blessed I am to have known you personally, Lord. To be saved by you is an undeserved grace to such a vile worm as I. I offer you my sincerest praises, my heartfelt thanks. And today, let me reflect that attitude in all my dealings with everyone and everything around me. Let me reflect that line of thought in every action, every word, every thought.
Hear this: make my heart fully yours.