You Wouldn’t Know

Posted: March 20, 2015 in Poems
Tags: , , , ,

I know you hate me
because I’m just so unlikable.

I know you want nothing to do with me,
because I’m just too deviant.

I know you think I’m too full of myself,
and so messed up too.

That I’m way too displeasing,
and am simply the worst of everything.

But do you know how much I struggle
just to be even a little better?

Do you know how much tears are shed
every night as I sleep?

Do you know how much I strive daily
just to somehow become less of a sinner?

Of course you wouldn’t know,
nor would you ever care of finding out.

And you wouldn’t ever know
how much I wanted you to like me,

to approve of me,
to see me worthy of your company.

You wouldn’t know how every sharp word from you
utterly, deeply, cuts me through.

You wouldn’t know how your cold actions
pierce my heart and quench my soul’s fire.

But today I just have to tell you
that I never wanted it to be like this.

And I would just like you to know,
things used to be better between us.

But then you wouldn’t know, nor would you care.
‘Cause perhaps the past that I remember

was nothing but a fragment of imagination,
a wish I’m too desperate to have realized.

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